By ASCV Board Member Dilshad D. Ali
On a Thursday night, as has been our routine for the past five months, I sat on the sidelines at River City Inclusive Gym and watched my son “D” casually stroll through his fitness routine with his coach. We were introduced to this gym class through RCIG’s partnership with the Autism Society of Central Virginia, and when a Thursday night spot opened up in January I took a chance and enrolled D.
D, who is 24 years old, doesn’t like to go out on weeknights after coming home from his day support program. But increasing his physical activity was a goal for him, and I figured if this wasn’t the place for him to do it, then I don’t know what is. We started D’s journey doing fitness classes with the Fitability program on the southside of town, also hosted through the ASCV. After two tours of doing the Fitability program with Coach Will Hamilton, we knew D was primed to join a class at RCIG.
I mention all this because the catalyst for it all has been the Autism Society of Central Virginia, an organization with which our family has been involved for more than 15 years. It’s been a lifeline of learning, support and programming, not only for D, but for our whole family. D’s younger siblings benefited from ASCV support groups over the years. I attended countless classes through the ASCV when D was younger to learn about negotiating IEPs with school districts, how to navigate autism and sexual health, learning about SSI and SSDI, how to apply for a Medicaid waiver, housing options in Virginia, and the all important three-part seminar (that I took TWICE) about the transition to adulthood.
Then there was the fun stuff – pool parties at the Jewish Community Center, annual ASCV outings to Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, annual family picnics, holiday parties and so much more. As D continued to age, I thought that perhaps our relationship with the ASCV would wane. But then they expanded their adult programming, and that became a crucial part of widening D’s community and world.
As D has firmly entered the adult world, he now – along with his father and younger brother – attends the annual ASCV adult camping weekend. He is a regular at the monthly respite program (when he can nab a slot), and he joins in for adult bowling when the mood strikes him. Through it all, the ASCV has helped D build community and friendships that are his, and his alone. Much like Norm in the old sitcom “Cheers,” D loves attending these events where “everybody knows your name.”
And I love that these are D’s people. This is D’s community, and we are on the edges of it helping to facilitate, rather than him living on the edges of everyone’s lives. Our goal, as D has become an adult, has been to help him build community that doesn’t depend on us as his parents, and the ASCV has been crucial in helping to do that.
Which brings me to the ASCV 5K, where our team – Team You, Me and D – has shown up year in and year out for 15 years. It’s one of our most favorite events of the year, and even though D (as he’s grown into adulthood) now hates waking up early in the morning, he allows himself to be roused to partake in this most casual of 5Ks. Over the years, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and countless friends have joined our team to support D and the ASCV.
I think our circle of friends and family are tired of us now, and the past few years it’s a core group of us who keep showing up as Team You, Me and D – and that’s just fine. When you do something consistently for more than 15 years, obviously your people grow up and move on. But all the people who have supported Team You, Me and D over the years either continue to donate or send their good vibes our way when May rolls around. And I cannot express how much our family appreciates that.
Join us on May 17th!
Registration is open now for the ASCV 5K & Family Fun Day! Learn more and sign up below.